Valentine’s Day is upon us, and this is the perfect time to remind the special people in your life that you love them. Valentine’s Day has always been promoted as a “romantic” holiday, but I never grew up that way. It was a day just for love, love for anyone. It was a time to remind your family, your friends, and even yourself of the love you have for them. My father got me a Valentine’s Day gift every single year, and they are some of my most treasured memories. I do this with my own children now, and they wake up on February 14th with a little special something.
I also have a husband who I love, and who I make sure I spoil on this ‘day of love.’ I get him a romantic card, a nice gift, and we typically go out for dinner when we can. He has also always doted on me, and there are always beautiful gifts, chocolate, and romance. However, this year is a bit different. I don’t want big gifts, flowers or chocolates in a traditional sense. I just want to eat, drink and be merry, and part of this entails leaving me the heck alone.
I know it seems harsh, but if my husband (and children) really love me, the best way they can show me this year is to leave me alone, at least for a bit. Now, I love my family, but these past two years have shown me that I need to love myself even more than I love them. I need to take care of my needs because if I don’t, my whole house falls apart. I don’t mean this in a bragging way, but I am the glue that holds this house together, as are many moms, and we have been ignoring our needs for far too long.
That is why this Valentine’s Day, I want to focus on self-love, and what I need to do for myself. This means that what I really want is to sit on the couch with my favorite snacks and drinks, and I just want to be happy. I want my family there, but I don’t want to deal with the screaming and fighting, and I definitely don’t want to be asked for a snack every 5 minutes.
This is the kind of self-love that I want to show myself this year. The truth is that this is the type of self-love I should be showing myself more throughout the year. That it is OK to let the house go for a day. Let the dishes pile up, let the laundry basket overflow and let the children have cereal for dinner if that means I get a day to show myself how much I love me.
The good news is that I have a partner who understands my needs, and we work together to make sure I get as much of what I need as I can. My message to him this year is that he doesn’t need to do anything extravagant. I don’t need the flowers, or the chocolates, or a fancy night out. It just seems too much of a hassle right now to find someone to watch the kids, get dressed up, and actually get out the front door for dinner. The last time we tried that, we had to come home because my daughter threw up everywhere.
I just want to shelter at home, cuddle up and watch a movie and just be in the moment. I acknowledge and have accepted that I am not young anymore, and my husband, and I’s love is not “puppy love” anymore. We are adults, we are parents, and our relationship has changed and evolved over time, and for the better. This is the type of environment I want, and this is how my husband can show me love. By just being in the moment, and focusing on eating good food, opening a bottle of wine at home, and just being happy.
That’s all I want, is to be happy and content, and that is all I want for the people I love and that is what Valentine’s Day means to me now.
Read Next
About The Author
Ashley Wehrli
(3063 Articles Published)
More
From Ashley Wehrli